Here I go again….on my own

Hello you lovely bunch of human beings. I haven’t written a blog post for yonks, life, work and well just plain laziness got in the way. However, this morning something happened to me that has both inspired and energised me and just basically has given me a kick up the bottom to start writing again.So here it is…..

I met a guy. An actual real-life walking talking guy. When I say met, I use that term pretty loosely  as in actual fact we matched on Tinder. Ahhhh good ol’ Tinder the app of dreams…. Please tell me you sense my sarcasm there?

Anyway,  like I said we matched on Tinder and he actually spoke, I think I almost fell of my chair when I got that first message. Those that use Tinder will understand my surprise (you may match with lots of people but about 1 in 10 actually talk.)

At the time of matching I was actually talking to two other people, I know right- what a slut!! But, the more I spoke with-lets call him Charles- the more I became interested and the other two fell by the wayside.

We talked a lot, firstly on Tinder then we swapped numbers and if it was possible my thumb would’ve been on fire the amount that we Whatsapped each other. We seemed similar, a little bit silly, a little bit quirky and just really down to earth and he made me laugh lots.

Long story short we ended up arranging a first date. The day before ( just my luck) I came down with the dreaded lurgy I was sneezing for Britain, snotty nosed and bleary eyed so we decided to move it. The date day came and I was still sneezy and bleary eyed but a lot less snotty. We met in town where he presented me with a bag of hotel chocolat chocs and greeted me with a smile, had a starry B’s and then ventured up to where he’d planned to take me for food.

We sat pretty much knee to knee and as we talked it was literally like we had known each other for ages, there were no awkward silences just lots of laughs and cheeky looks. All of a sudden he kissed me and I’m not going to lie it was a good kiss and that was it I was sold.

After the food we walked up to orange rooms for a couple of drinks and ended up staying to do the quiz, we were sat holding hands, cuddling, kissing and to anyone around us we must’ve looked like a proper couple. He even made me take a selfie of us and checked us in on Facebook. I’ve never had that before and in a way I suppose it made me feel comforted-someon is on a date with me and they’re proud to be seen with me-it was a good feeling. We lost the quiz, we actually came joint last but I didn’t care I had had the best date for a long time and I left that night smiling my little face off.  I must’ve sneezed on Charles about 20 times as well and when I got home and found out he liked me too and wanted to see me again I was ecstatic!

The week following was pretty much the same we would email all the time, he would send me random lovely messages like ” you know the middle bit of a chocolate orange? The best bit. You’re better than that” and as much as it pains me to admit it I fell for it, hook line and sinker.

We planned to spend the weekend together, I would drive to him in Andover we would get lunch and spend the day together, he was going to cook for me in the evening and then I would go to work with him that night and watch him DJ. Sunday we would have a lazy morning and then come back and do the orange rooms quiz. I spent all of last night preparing, I shaved my legs, re-painted my toe nails, tanned, put rollers in my hair and I even got my noon waxed ( sorry dad if you’re reading this) we were messaging for a lot of last night him telling me he didn’t want to date anyone else and how he couldn’t wait to see me and I went to sleep a happy lady.

When I woke up this morning I jokingly messaged him saying “morning soooo who were you talking to on Whatsapp at 4:30am this morning mr?” And I was completely messing around. I saw the two blue ticks appear next to the messages and then I was blocked on everything Whatsapp, Facebook and Instagram. I had that horrible sinking feeling go through me, I’m hoping others can relate to that, and I was gutted, totally upset.

In my opinion I think this is a cowardly thing to do. If you aren’t interested/don’t like what I said/have met someone else/ are getting back with your ex then just man up and bloody say. I think I speak for most women when  I say it is the most irritating thing when a man goes completely silent. Yes it might seem easier than having ‘that discussion’ but for women being completely ignored is so much worse. It makes us question ourselves, our looks, our personality “what did I do wrong?” ” was it that picture I sent him” not knowing is THE WORST!

A lot  of you are probably thinking why is she so upset it was only a second date and I have got to agree it was only a second date. However, I have kissed a lot of frogs in my time, and if you had received all the emails and Whatsapp messages I did you would have felt the same. I thought I had FINALLY met someone amazing, someone funny, kind caring and romantic and they actually liked ME. Not to mention the fact that this was my weekend, I had been looking forward to it all week, the build up, the excitement the preparation and it was snatched away in one fowl swoop.

Now I know I’m no Carrie Bradshaw and this isn’t a mr big situation but I’m hoping a lot of you will understand where I’m coming from.One thing that this has made me realise is that I’m stronger than I thought, and I know I deserve more than someone that can do this to me. My mr right is out there somewhere…. Now where is he bloody hiding?????









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