All I want for Christmas is….ME!

So firstly I owe my readers a massive apology! I’ve been very slack on the blog posting of late, all I can say is that work and life have had to come first and as much as I think New Years Resolutions are a bit silly I have decided I’m going to make much more of an effort with my blog in 2016, so look out for some more lifestyle, fashion and opinionated posts!

Now, to the topic in hand and the title of my post “all I want for Christmas is me” . I realise that this makes me sound incredibly self-centred, selfish and any other terminology people want to throw at me, but let me explain…..

Since I was about 11/12 I became interested in boys, you only have to read my diaries from my teenage years to realise even then I was searching for someone to love me. Don’t get me wrong I have THE BEST family a girl could ask for, I love them to the moon and back and more and I know they feel the same but this was a different kind of love, a romantic kind of love.

Maybe it stems from watching Disney films or romcoms in general but I wanted that fairytale ending from a very young age and even as I’ve got older I haven’t stopped looking for it.

I’ve had boyfriends and been on countless dates and even then I thought I knew what I was looking for and what I wanted/needed to feel complete. I wanted that perfect relationship you know the ones you see on Facebook where boyfriends have made huge romantic gestures, planned romantic trips or even just changed their profile pics to showcase their lovely girlfriends. I wanted that! I wanted a piece of that pie and I felt like I was forever on the search to find it!

I know people say “you’ll find love when you least expect it” but it’s hard not to search especially even when your mum is considering handing out your business cards to any eligible looking men in the fruit and veg aisle at Tesco!!

Throughout the course of 2015 there have been definite highs and lows, I became single in March and rejoined the dating scene in May. I’ve been on various dates been messed around, I’ve also had some fun along the way too! Nothing seemed to be sticking though and throughout all these dates including the disastrous one I wrote about in a previous post I thought I was learning more about what I wanted and what I was looking for in the next person.

Then someone from the summer came back into my life, we started talking again and things seemed different this time and I thought “you know what, I’m gonna go with this”. We went on our first date and got on like a house on fire, we had loads in common and it was quite exciting and I got caught up in the moment. I thought finally this could be it my movie moment! I also think the fact that everything is so Christmassy and everyone’s filled with festive joy it’s hard not to get carried away and it wasn’t long before things started to unravel! On our 3rd date he pretty much asked me out and I was a bit like “woah this is our 3rd date this is WAY too quick for me”.Having been single for almost 9 months I’d got used to doing my own thing and not having to explain myself to anyone and without even realising it I was happy. I once had a cheeky sofa nap and woke up to 7 messages and it really made me question what I was actually looking for. In my mind I thought I wanted someone keen, attentive and forthcoming but in reality I didn’t like it one bit! I also got moaned at for arranging to see my girls and not arranging to see him being told “you have to make time for a bf” and that really was the straw that broke the camels back. We’d been on THREE dates! It was way too much and when I explained how I was feeling I was deleted from Facebook and had some rather unsavoury comments thrown my way and I knew I’d made the right decision.

So  whilst I’d been thinking Christmas is a really romantic time and I was almost sad that I was going to be single I’ve now realised that more than anything and probably for the first time ever, im HAPPY to be single at Christmas, I can do my own thing, I can have a drunken sofa nap, I can see my favourite ladies and I can spend my time with my amazing family and more importantly I’m happy being a Single Pringle.

I’m the one with they key to my happiness, it’s just a shame it’s taken me so long to realise it!

Wishing you all an Amazing Christmas and New Year. As always, peace love and huggles,

Jessica Ruth xxx image.jpeg

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