The Disastrous Date #1

Hi lovelies,

I hope everyone is well and having a good week. I  don’t know about you guys but I canny wait for the weekend!

Now, in my header it says my blog will be about my on-line dating disasters so it’s about time I told you about one of my faves-although it should probably be known as  one of my worst.

I would like to think I’m a bit of an online dating connoisseur. I’ve tried a few different sites POF, TINDER, Match and even OK CUPID and BADDOO and I’ve spread my net far and wide. (I’m not desperate- honest! I’d just like to think I’m giving myself more of a fighting chance to meet that special someone) I’ve even had a few boyfriends from POF over the years so I wouldn’t say I’m doing too badly. I’d definitely give myself an A+ for trying.

Anyway, after my most recent relationship went sour and came to an abrupt end, I took some time out for myself, went on an amazing holiday for my 30th birthday to Marbella with my girlies and came back a different person. I was ready to get back on the roller coaster that is online dating, I plonked myself right at the front, strapped myself in and sent myself full throttle into the unknown,starting with POF, which is where I met the chap that features in my story.

Alan and I started talking one Thursday afternoon, and the flanter ( flirty banter) was flying back and forth.He had a really good sense of humour and was really making me smile. In fact we were getting on so well that we arranged to go on a date on the Saturday night, we decided we would go for drinks and see where the night took us. I love things like that I love being spontaneous and just seeing what happens, it’s so much more fun that sticking rigidly to a plan.

Saturday night rolled around and I was actually really nervous, from our constant texting and messaging  I had started to actually quite like the guy and I really hoped he’d like me too. I took a while getting ready, I had a bath, I washed dried and curled my hair and I spent forever perfecting my make-up, my contouring was on point! Whilst I was getting ready, to ease my nerves I treated myself to some cheeky glasses of prosecco , 3 to be exact and by the time Alan came to pick me up I was well on my way.

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( The on point contour)                               (What I wore that night)

We drove back to his so we could drop his car off and whilst we waited for the taxi to pick us up he invited me in for a drink. When we walked into his lounge/kitchen he presented me with a small bottle of Blossom Hill that he’d bought especially for me Well, I couldn’t say no and I couldn’t tell him about the 3 proseccos I already had so I drank it-I had to be polite…..

A little later on…

The next part of my story takes us to the WHITE STAR pub in Oxford Street Southampton. As soon as we walked in the door we went straight to the bar and Alan bought us a bottle of prosecco, which of course I drank again to be polite. ( I think you may be able to see where this story is leading) and another and then some shots and then another bottle. It’s safe to say I was absolutely hammered!

When I get hammered I tend to over exaggerate, not my stories but my actions. I definitely talk with my hands and I was throwing them around all over the place, telling my stories and rabbiting on probably boring poor Alan to tears. At one point whilst I was gesticulating wildly about something or other I committed a cardinal dating sin. I knocked over a glass of prosecco, which promptly smashed and went all over Alan.The next thing I know I’m waking up fully-clothed in  his bed with a bucket next to me.

Alan had to fill in the blanks…..

After I had smashed the glass I got upset ( I can only assume from pure embarrassment ) and we decided to leave and move on to somewhere else. Whilst we were deciding where to go I asked Alan if he was going to dance he said “no” and I got in a strop and stomped off down the road. Alan chased after me and got us a taxi back to his. Throughout the journey I was adamant I wanted to go home to my house and when we got back to his I changed my mind and wanted to come in. I fell asleep face down on his sofa, woke up went to the toilet and was sick- and then he put me to bed and out the bucket next to me just in case.

Even as I’m typing this I am inwardly cringing but at the same time I can’t help but be amused at my antics. The funniest thing was-and none of my work colleagues could believe this- he actually wanted to see me again . I obviously made a lasting impression!!!

Unfortunately since then things have fizzled out but I haven’t given up hope just yet.  As much as I would love to channel Carrie Bradshaw, I’m not looking for my Mr Big, more a ‘Mr Funny’ / a ‘Mr Can Make me laugh without trying to hard’. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for so watch this space….

Have you had any dating disasters, or funny date stories? I would love to hear them!

For now, as always,

Peace, Love and Huggles,

Jessica Ruth xxx

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