Here I go again….on my own

Hello you lovely bunch of human beings. I haven’t written a blog post for yonks, life, work and well just plain laziness got in the way. However, this morning something happened to me that has both inspired and energised me and just basically has given me a kick up the bottom to start writing again.So here it is…..

I met a guy. An actual real-life walking talking guy. When I say met, I use that term pretty loosely  as in actual fact we matched on Tinder. Ahhhh good ol’ Tinder the app of dreams…. Please tell me you sense my sarcasm there?

Anyway,  like I said we matched on Tinder and he actually spoke, I think I almost fell of my chair when I got that first message. Those that use Tinder will understand my surprise (you may match with lots of people but about 1 in 10 actually talk.)

At the time of matching I was actually talking to two other people, I know right- what a slut!! But, the more I spoke with-lets call him Charles- the more I became interested and the other two fell by the wayside.

We talked a lot, firstly on Tinder then we swapped numbers and if it was possible my thumb would’ve been on fire the amount that we Whatsapped each other. We seemed similar, a little bit silly, a little bit quirky and just really down to earth and he made me laugh lots.

Long story short we ended up arranging a first date. The day before ( just my luck) I came down with the dreaded lurgy I was sneezing for Britain, snotty nosed and bleary eyed so we decided to move it. The date day came and I was still sneezy and bleary eyed but a lot less snotty. We met in town where he presented me with a bag of hotel chocolat chocs and greeted me with a smile, had a starry B’s and then ventured up to where he’d planned to take me for food.

We sat pretty much knee to knee and as we talked it was literally like we had known each other for ages, there were no awkward silences just lots of laughs and cheeky looks. All of a sudden he kissed me and I’m not going to lie it was a good kiss and that was it I was sold.

After the food we walked up to orange rooms for a couple of drinks and ended up staying to do the quiz, we were sat holding hands, cuddling, kissing and to anyone around us we must’ve looked like a proper couple. He even made me take a selfie of us and checked us in on Facebook. I’ve never had that before and in a way I suppose it made me feel comforted-someon is on a date with me and they’re proud to be seen with me-it was a good feeling. We lost the quiz, we actually came joint last but I didn’t care I had had the best date for a long time and I left that night smiling my little face off.  I must’ve sneezed on Charles about 20 times as well and when I got home and found out he liked me too and wanted to see me again I was ecstatic!

The week following was pretty much the same we would email all the time, he would send me random lovely messages like ” you know the middle bit of a chocolate orange? The best bit. You’re better than that” and as much as it pains me to admit it I fell for it, hook line and sinker.

We planned to spend the weekend together, I would drive to him in Andover we would get lunch and spend the day together, he was going to cook for me in the evening and then I would go to work with him that night and watch him DJ. Sunday we would have a lazy morning and then come back and do the orange rooms quiz. I spent all of last night preparing, I shaved my legs, re-painted my toe nails, tanned, put rollers in my hair and I even got my noon waxed ( sorry dad if you’re reading this) we were messaging for a lot of last night him telling me he didn’t want to date anyone else and how he couldn’t wait to see me and I went to sleep a happy lady.

When I woke up this morning I jokingly messaged him saying “morning soooo who were you talking to on Whatsapp at 4:30am this morning mr?” And I was completely messing around. I saw the two blue ticks appear next to the messages and then I was blocked on everything Whatsapp, Facebook and Instagram. I had that horrible sinking feeling go through me, I’m hoping others can relate to that, and I was gutted, totally upset.

In my opinion I think this is a cowardly thing to do. If you aren’t interested/don’t like what I said/have met someone else/ are getting back with your ex then just man up and bloody say. I think I speak for most women when  I say it is the most irritating thing when a man goes completely silent. Yes it might seem easier than having ‘that discussion’ but for women being completely ignored is so much worse. It makes us question ourselves, our looks, our personality “what did I do wrong?” ” was it that picture I sent him” not knowing is THE WORST!

A lot  of you are probably thinking why is she so upset it was only a second date and I have got to agree it was only a second date. However, I have kissed a lot of frogs in my time, and if you had received all the emails and Whatsapp messages I did you would have felt the same. I thought I had FINALLY met someone amazing, someone funny, kind caring and romantic and they actually liked ME. Not to mention the fact that this was my weekend, I had been looking forward to it all week, the build up, the excitement the preparation and it was snatched away in one fowl swoop.

Now I know I’m no Carrie Bradshaw and this isn’t a mr big situation but I’m hoping a lot of you will understand where I’m coming from.One thing that this has made me realise is that I’m stronger than I thought, and I know I deserve more than someone that can do this to me. My mr right is out there somewhere…. Now where is he bloody hiding?????

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Annie are you OK? Are you OK Annie?

OK, so firstly I know that my names not Annie, but it went better as a title than my own name- sue me! ( Well, no, don’t actually sue me but you know what I mean.)

I’ve thought long and hard about writing this post, would people think I’m mental? would it put off future potential romances? really would I just look  a bit pathetic? and in the end I’ve decided to write it anyway.

I am a self-confessed ‘Anxious Annie’ or simply put I suffer with anxiety.  Outwardly I don’t think many people would be aware, for the most part I am happy go lucky and always smiling. Inside, however it’s a totally different story.

I have been anxious ever since I can remember, well probably from about the age of 5. I developed a phobia of being sick that I now know to be called ‘Emetophobia’ and worried every single day that I was going to be sick, that my family was going to be sick, that the person sat next to me on the bus was going to be sick, that the neighbours cat was going to be sick. Actually, probably not that last one but you get the gist. It took over my life.

That’s what anxiety does, takes over your life in some way, shape or form. It’s a bit like having a controlling partner saying ” no you can’t do this” “no you can’t go there” and threatening to rear its ugly head at any moment.

I don’t have the phobia any more but the anxiety has definitely stuck around.

In recent months I’ve seen various social media posts about depression and anxiety and it’s comforting to know that I’m not alone and also that the stigma against mental illness is becoming less prominent. However it still doesn’t lessen the fact that I am an anxious person and that’s something I have learnt to deal with in my own way.

When I’m talking to new people and opening up to them I usually describe it as ” I worry more than the average bear” and leave it at that in the hope they might somehow understand what I go through. I suppose a better explanation would be ” I worry about worrying about worrying.” Although even that doesn’t really describe the enormity of it!

My anxiety tends to manifest itself within the ” over thinking ” category. If I am dating someone new for example I have ended up over texting them and inadvertently pushing them away, all because I was terrified of losing them. Or I have been on holiday before and felt poorly due to being hungover-except in my head I worry that I am actually ill and in a foreign country and what if they can’t help me because they don’t speak English? I realise now even as I’m writing this how completely and utterly irrational I sound. Anxiety makes you do funny things.

I’ve also had a bad reaction to my anxiety. I was seeing a guy  for a little while and felt comfortable enough to open up about it and his response really wasn’t what I expected. He told me that I shouldn’t have told him and that I should have kept it to myself-basically he didn’t want to know. I can remember feeling so ashamed and embarrassed in that moment, like I was a complete mentalist and to top it all off I didn’t hear from him again.In hindsight, I now realise  it just wasn’t meant to be but at the time I was devastated in more ways than one.

I have learnt many things about my anxiety. It doesn’t define me, I’m still me the smiley fun happy Jessica and it’s a part of me, it makes up the person I am, I think if it went away completely I’d be a little lost without it. It doesn’t stop me doing things,for example going to Theme Parks. The irrational part of my brain will be saying ‘ what if the ride crashes?’ ‘what if I fall out?’ but I get on those rides anyway and have the time of my life.

I do ‘worry more than the average bear’ but I deal with it as and when it comes and that is all you can do.

Anxiety is a bitch, it’s exhausting and it’s irrational at times but it doesn’t stop me being me and I think that is the most important thing.

Peace love and huggles,

Jessica Ruth xxx

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All I want for Christmas is….ME!

So firstly I owe my readers a massive apology! I’ve been very slack on the blog posting of late, all I can say is that work and life have had to come first and as much as I think New Years Resolutions are a bit silly I have decided I’m going to make much more of an effort with my blog in 2016, so look out for some more lifestyle, fashion and opinionated posts!

Now, to the topic in hand and the title of my post “all I want for Christmas is me” . I realise that this makes me sound incredibly self-centred, selfish and any other terminology people want to throw at me, but let me explain…..

Since I was about 11/12 I became interested in boys, you only have to read my diaries from my teenage years to realise even then I was searching for someone to love me. Don’t get me wrong I have THE BEST family a girl could ask for, I love them to the moon and back and more and I know they feel the same but this was a different kind of love, a romantic kind of love.

Maybe it stems from watching Disney films or romcoms in general but I wanted that fairytale ending from a very young age and even as I’ve got older I haven’t stopped looking for it.

I’ve had boyfriends and been on countless dates and even then I thought I knew what I was looking for and what I wanted/needed to feel complete. I wanted that perfect relationship you know the ones you see on Facebook where boyfriends have made huge romantic gestures, planned romantic trips or even just changed their profile pics to showcase their lovely girlfriends. I wanted that! I wanted a piece of that pie and I felt like I was forever on the search to find it!

I know people say “you’ll find love when you least expect it” but it’s hard not to search especially even when your mum is considering handing out your business cards to any eligible looking men in the fruit and veg aisle at Tesco!!

Throughout the course of 2015 there have been definite highs and lows, I became single in March and rejoined the dating scene in May. I’ve been on various dates been messed around, I’ve also had some fun along the way too! Nothing seemed to be sticking though and throughout all these dates including the disastrous one I wrote about in a previous post I thought I was learning more about what I wanted and what I was looking for in the next person.

Then someone from the summer came back into my life, we started talking again and things seemed different this time and I thought “you know what, I’m gonna go with this”. We went on our first date and got on like a house on fire, we had loads in common and it was quite exciting and I got caught up in the moment. I thought finally this could be it my movie moment! I also think the fact that everything is so Christmassy and everyone’s filled with festive joy it’s hard not to get carried away and it wasn’t long before things started to unravel! On our 3rd date he pretty much asked me out and I was a bit like “woah this is our 3rd date this is WAY too quick for me”.Having been single for almost 9 months I’d got used to doing my own thing and not having to explain myself to anyone and without even realising it I was happy. I once had a cheeky sofa nap and woke up to 7 messages and it really made me question what I was actually looking for. In my mind I thought I wanted someone keen, attentive and forthcoming but in reality I didn’t like it one bit! I also got moaned at for arranging to see my girls and not arranging to see him being told “you have to make time for a bf” and that really was the straw that broke the camels back. We’d been on THREE dates! It was way too much and when I explained how I was feeling I was deleted from Facebook and had some rather unsavoury comments thrown my way and I knew I’d made the right decision.

So  whilst I’d been thinking Christmas is a really romantic time and I was almost sad that I was going to be single I’ve now realised that more than anything and probably for the first time ever, im HAPPY to be single at Christmas, I can do my own thing, I can have a drunken sofa nap, I can see my favourite ladies and I can spend my time with my amazing family and more importantly I’m happy being a Single Pringle.

I’m the one with they key to my happiness, it’s just a shame it’s taken me so long to realise it!

Wishing you all an Amazing Christmas and New Year. As always, peace love and huggles,

Jessica Ruth xxx image.jpeg

The Disastrous Date #1

Hi lovelies,

I hope everyone is well and having a good week. I  don’t know about you guys but I canny wait for the weekend!

Now, in my header it says my blog will be about my on-line dating disasters so it’s about time I told you about one of my faves-although it should probably be known as  one of my worst.

I would like to think I’m a bit of an online dating connoisseur. I’ve tried a few different sites POF, TINDER, Match and even OK CUPID and BADDOO and I’ve spread my net far and wide. (I’m not desperate- honest! I’d just like to think I’m giving myself more of a fighting chance to meet that special someone) I’ve even had a few boyfriends from POF over the years so I wouldn’t say I’m doing too badly. I’d definitely give myself an A+ for trying.

Anyway, after my most recent relationship went sour and came to an abrupt end, I took some time out for myself, went on an amazing holiday for my 30th birthday to Marbella with my girlies and came back a different person. I was ready to get back on the roller coaster that is online dating, I plonked myself right at the front, strapped myself in and sent myself full throttle into the unknown,starting with POF, which is where I met the chap that features in my story.

Alan and I started talking one Thursday afternoon, and the flanter ( flirty banter) was flying back and forth.He had a really good sense of humour and was really making me smile. In fact we were getting on so well that we arranged to go on a date on the Saturday night, we decided we would go for drinks and see where the night took us. I love things like that I love being spontaneous and just seeing what happens, it’s so much more fun that sticking rigidly to a plan.

Saturday night rolled around and I was actually really nervous, from our constant texting and messaging  I had started to actually quite like the guy and I really hoped he’d like me too. I took a while getting ready, I had a bath, I washed dried and curled my hair and I spent forever perfecting my make-up, my contouring was on point! Whilst I was getting ready, to ease my nerves I treated myself to some cheeky glasses of prosecco , 3 to be exact and by the time Alan came to pick me up I was well on my way.

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( The on point contour)                               (What I wore that night)

We drove back to his so we could drop his car off and whilst we waited for the taxi to pick us up he invited me in for a drink. When we walked into his lounge/kitchen he presented me with a small bottle of Blossom Hill that he’d bought especially for me Well, I couldn’t say no and I couldn’t tell him about the 3 proseccos I already had so I drank it-I had to be polite…..

A little later on…

The next part of my story takes us to the WHITE STAR pub in Oxford Street Southampton. As soon as we walked in the door we went straight to the bar and Alan bought us a bottle of prosecco, which of course I drank again to be polite. ( I think you may be able to see where this story is leading) and another and then some shots and then another bottle. It’s safe to say I was absolutely hammered!

When I get hammered I tend to over exaggerate, not my stories but my actions. I definitely talk with my hands and I was throwing them around all over the place, telling my stories and rabbiting on probably boring poor Alan to tears. At one point whilst I was gesticulating wildly about something or other I committed a cardinal dating sin. I knocked over a glass of prosecco, which promptly smashed and went all over Alan.The next thing I know I’m waking up fully-clothed in  his bed with a bucket next to me.

Alan had to fill in the blanks…..

After I had smashed the glass I got upset ( I can only assume from pure embarrassment ) and we decided to leave and move on to somewhere else. Whilst we were deciding where to go I asked Alan if he was going to dance he said “no” and I got in a strop and stomped off down the road. Alan chased after me and got us a taxi back to his. Throughout the journey I was adamant I wanted to go home to my house and when we got back to his I changed my mind and wanted to come in. I fell asleep face down on his sofa, woke up went to the toilet and was sick- and then he put me to bed and out the bucket next to me just in case.

Even as I’m typing this I am inwardly cringing but at the same time I can’t help but be amused at my antics. The funniest thing was-and none of my work colleagues could believe this- he actually wanted to see me again . I obviously made a lasting impression!!!

Unfortunately since then things have fizzled out but I haven’t given up hope just yet.  As much as I would love to channel Carrie Bradshaw, I’m not looking for my Mr Big, more a ‘Mr Funny’ / a ‘Mr Can Make me laugh without trying to hard’. I don’t think that’s too much to ask for so watch this space….

Have you had any dating disasters, or funny date stories? I would love to hear them!

For now, as always,

Peace, Love and Huggles,

Jessica Ruth xxx

Bestival Blues

Well, it’s almost 2 months since I returned from the craziness that is Bestival and as cold miserable weather and darker evenings set in, I massively have the Bestival Blues.  Even as I’m writing this I can still hear “Lets Go Dancing” by Eats Everything on auto-play in my head.

Having been to Isle of Wight Festival a few years ago I thought I knew what to expect but boy oh boy was I wrong! Bestival exceeded all my expectations and more. It has now taken over as my favourite festival and to quote the lovely Annie Mac ” why is it called Bestival? Because it’s the best ****ing Festival”.and I couldn’t agree more.

Anyway, I wont bore you all by going on about how good it was. Instead I want to talk to you about some of my highlights and my festival fashion. ( I know it’s late, but better late than never right?)

Day 1

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I’m wearing a playsuit and sunglasses from http://www.boohoo.com, a gilet from Camden Market and wellies and bum-bag from Ebay. I wanted to wear something quite comfortable for the first day as I knew I would be lugging around a trolley, tent and rucksack.

Day 2

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I‘m wearing a rust tassel dress from https://www.missguided.co.uk/ a patterned kimono and floral headband from http://www.boohoo.com and a choker from New Look. As Bestival is a festival where anything goes I thought I could push the boundaries a bit. There is also a story that goes with this outfit too….

The night I decided to wear this outfit we went to a UV pants party, something I had never experienced before in my life. It took place in the Commune section of Bestival in one of the tents and was exactly what it says on the tin. We had to strip down into our underwear and leave our clothes in the tent next door. We got drawn on with UV highlighter pens by men and women alike and the whole experience was weirdly sexual but fun all at the same time. Once we had enough we went to the tent next door only to find our clothes had been STOLEN!!! Jenni  ( my partner in crime) found a blanket to walk back in but I had to walk back to our tent in front of the whole festival in my black bikini covered in UV paint and my wellies! I must have looked a right sight!

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Day 3 (Daytime)

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I was really hung over on this day and just wanted to feel comfortable so I am rocking a Slogan Tee and distressed denim shorts from Missguided.com and my sunnies are from Boohoo.com

Day 3 (Evening)

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We decided we wanted to rock the sequins at some point this weekend and Saturday night was the perfect night to do so. I am wearing a blue sequin shift dress from Missguided.com a vintage shirt from Ebay and a body chain and hairband from Boohoo.com

Day 4 (Daytime)

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I am wearing a hat that I won from a Radio Station Stall, Sunnies from Boohoo.com the Cold Shoulder Bell Sleeve Swing dress black scarf print dress from Missguided.com and gilet from Camden Market.

Day 4 (Evening)

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On the last night at Bestival the weather was shocking and I was freezing so I had to chuck my hoodie on over my outfit ( it’s from New Look) My Gold Skater Dress is from Missguided.com, my body-chain from Boohoo.com and my headdress from one of the stalls at Bestival called Love Fairy.

I really did have the BEST time at Bestival, even though at the old age of 30 I get two-day hangovers, I managed to party with the youngsters. Fashion wise it’s very different to other festivals I have been to or seen pictures of ( think Coachella, Isle of Wight, Glastonbury) the BOHO vibe is still prevalent but it’s all about going over the top, wearing as much glitter as possible and wearing the craziest outfit imaginable. The theme was ‘Summer of Love’ which could literally translate into anything from Hippies to some excellent Love Heart costumes I saw to 90’s fancy dress to well just about anything!

Festival goers in 'Summer of Love' fancy dress on day 3 of Bestival 2015 held at Robin Hill Country Park, Isle of Wight

Photo credit: Huffington Post

I am already planning my outfits for next year. Have you had any festival fashion disasters? Or do you have a go to festival outfit that makes you think of summer, good music and good vibes? I’d love to hear from you!

Peace, love and huggles,

Jessica Ruth xxx

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow…..

Hi everyone,

Now I have finally written my first couple of blog posts (whoop!) and I have  had such a positive reaction so thank you. In my most recent post I talked about being comfortable in my own skin at 30.This is something I can definitely say I still stand by and definitely something that enabled me to take the plunge and chop all my hair off.

I will hold my hands up and say my hair was my security blanket, when it was all down and curly and swishy I felt like I could take on the world. I felt like if anything went wrong that day ( let’s face it is usually does in some way shape or form) at least my hair looked good.

I’d been having hair extensions for years, starting with glue in ones ( I would NOT recommend these) then clip in’s, then weaves and finally Easilocks and Micro-Rings. I’m far too impatient to wait for my hair to grow and extensions provide you with instant glamour and instant confidence. I would estimate (based on my own opinion) that about 80% of women these days wear or have worn hair extensions at some time in their life- even the B-E-A-utiful Michelle Keegan wears them- what does that tell you?

So why the massive change?

As I’ve said I’ve had long hair for years, I hid behind it, I felt like more boys would like me with it ( sad but true) and I liked how it looked when I took my selfies ( we all know i heart a selfie).

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Above: Me loving the selfie!

Don’t get me wrong, I have had short hair as well but at times when I probably could have done with the courage long hair gives you. It almost acts like a type of magic cloak I suppose. Take for example, when I was a gawky, squiffy toothed (pre-braces) teenager or the epicly bad haircut I had just before I went on holiday with my ex boyfriend. Let’s just say I haven’t had the best short hair experiences.

Until now.

I thought about it long and hard, asked opinions and sent pictures to my hair salon ( Glamourworks in Southampton) for their advice and one day I just decided to go for it. I had nothing to lose, hair grows back and if I didn’t like it I knew I could always rely on my good old friends the hair extensions if need be. I also really wasn’t worried about what people thought anymore.

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Above: My hair salon Glamour Works

The anticipation the night before was immense, I had my extensions taken out and my hair was already a good 7 inches shorter. I couldn’t sleep that night, tossing and turning and clock watching. Then all of a sudden the time arrived and my stylist Terri  was next to me clippers in hand ready to shave the side of my head. I held onto the chair arms with nerves, the clippers buzzing like a bumble bee next to my ear- I daren’t look in the mirror. No sooner had it started it was done. I looked up and smiled- I LOVED IT! Then it was time for blow-drying and styling and I was done my hair transformation was complete and I felt AMAZING.

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Above: The transformation in progress

To anyone that’s considering a dramatic hair change I say go for it,It’s such a liberating experience. I have had mixed reactions since doing it, but on the whole most people have been so complimentary and to those that weren’t all I can say is  I didn’t do it for you, I did it for me and I’m so very very glad i did.

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Above: Me most recently.

I am LOVING the silver/grey tones that are around at the moment and I think it’s great that you no-longer have to be in your 80’s to rock the granny grey rinse.  Here are a few of my faves:

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If you could transform your hair and have any style and/or colour what would you do? I’d love to hear from you!

For now, peace love and huggles,

Jessica Ruth xxx

Confidence at 30…….

At school I was always a “middley” as I used to call it-until The Inbetweeners  came along and ruined that! ( can you imagine a TV show called ‘The middleys’, doesn’t quite have the same ring does it?) I was friends with the “cool” popular people but I was also friends with the quieter more reserved ones too.

I’ll be honest I didn’t have much confidence growing up, I had terrible teeth ( the worst I’ve ever seen) and a big bumpy nose. I wouldn’t say I was bullied but people definitely used to say mean things to me- I remember once I’d had my hair highlighted and was feeling really good about myself and a girl said to me ” Yeah your hair looks good, but you’re still ugly” .I had another boy  in Science who used to tell me I was ugly everyday- kids can be so cruel!!!

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Above: My Year 11 Yearbook Photo.

I didn’t let that stop me though. I was in every school production, I ran the 800m on Sports Day and I also ended up being a prefect.  I always used to push my self-confidence issues to the back of my mind and throw myself into everything I could. However, they were still there, tapping me on the shoulder every now and again-like at school discos when everyone else danced with boys and I was left side-stepping at the side thinking ” why aren’t they picking me? It must be because of how I look”.

Eventually in year 11 I got my braces and almost over night I started to feel like a different person. I felt like people would actually look at me and not at my teeth and I thought boys might actually notice me now… And I was right I went to college and I was able to re-invent myself a little bit and boys actually did like me! I vividly remember having my 18th birthday party downing Apple Sourz shots and “pulling” 7 different boys! I was loving life!

The whole time though there was something else niggling at me and that was my nose. I hated it, I hated pictures being taken from my side profile I hated sitting on the bus in traffic because people would see my huge hooter, I actually used to wake up every day wishing I looked like someone else. This went on for years. Again I’d go out with my friends on a Friday and Saturday night and always be the “ugly ducking”, the one that didn’t pull and the one that was left side stepping at the side once again. I even over-heard people talking about it at the bar a few times as well.

Finally I decided something had to be done-I was getting a nose job!  I did LOTS of research into different surgeons, hospitals etc and finally settled on Transform and a surgeon called Dr Lahoud who specialises in noses.

It was literally the BEST  decision I had ever made! I woke up in recovery and although groggy I felt amazing! I had done it, I had a brand new nose and I couldn’t be happier.  Even when the cast came off a week later and it was swollen I could see that my nose looked exactly how I wanted it to and I felt like new me!

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Above: Me straight after the op.                                Above: My before and after’s                                                                                                   

The confidence didn’t appear overnight though, it wasn’t as though I started strutting around thinking I should be on Britain’s Next Top Model, I had wobbles, I had down days and I still do,I’m only human after all.

What I have come to realise at 30 is that this is it, this is me, this is who I am and whilst I may not be perfect I really am happy being me. Things that may have bothered me at 18/19 are no longer significant, if people call me ‘ugly’ now- and they still do occasionally, its water off a ducks back. If you don’t like me for me or who I am, well then I say “screw you!”-only joking I’m not really that mean, but you get the gist.

There isn’t a magic pill or potion that you can take called ‘ Immediate Confidence’  and life isn’t like the Lynx advert where you spray yourself and straight away have ladies (or men) pawing all over you, but it is definitely something that grows with age. You become more sure of your decisions and you develop a self belief that perhaps wasn’t there when you were at school.

As cliché as it sounds confidence definitely comes from within and to quote a brilliant man Mr Christian Louboutin You need to believe in yourself and what you do. Be tenacious and genuine.” I think if you stick to that you can’t go far wrong…..

me now Me Now.